I originally wrote this back in 2015. I feel it’s still pertinent, and I want it to reach more people than it did back then.

At the time, I was alerted to a video made by a young lady named Cassie Ho. She’s a fitness authority who’s made a lot of videos on YouTube helping people get healthier. Check this out:


Wow, pretty amazing right? Well, another strange thing is that many people felt that when she showed the really skinny version of her that suddenly she was perfect; that’s interesting. A strange thing to me is that there are a lot of people shaming her, or body shaming her, for not being thinner than she is. Frankly, I think she’s pretty close to perfect as far as health goes, but some folks think only ultra thin is healthy.


As someone who’s been overweight for most of my life, I have to say that I’ve been lucky to almost never have anyone say anything about it. Actually, the most I ever heard was when I’d actually dropped 26 pounds my freshman year of college because I couldn’t get used to the food, and having one of my friends always referring to me as a “skinny little thing”. Being 6′ 1/2″ at the time, being called “little” anything was intriguing. Then, when I was at my first job in a hospital, this one Italian lady used to pinch my cheeks all the time calling me “pudgy”, and she was actually bigger than me. 🙂

Let’s be truthful; we all notice what other people look like. We’re not always either so kind or so observant when it comes to ourselves. I remember as a kid we’d call each other things like “pumpkin head” and “big tomato nose”, but no one actually looked like those things.

We did pick on the heavier kids sometimes, but one thing my group never did was pick on someone because they had skin issues. Since I heard that happened at other schools I’m not sure if we were just nicer because we were military kids or if we didn’t dare because it could have been us.

We tend to notice when someone is too heavy, or too thin, or bald, or tall, or short, or whatever. Those folks know what they are also; some are good with it, some aren’t. Like most things, no matter what we notice and what we might think at the time, it’s none of our business to go out of our way to say negative things to these people. I mean, what kind of society are we anyway?

Actually, we stink as a society, especially in this day and age where people can adopt secret personas and say stuff from afar, believing they’ll never get caught. Funny enough, people sometimes do get caught, and when they do they fall back on “I was just joking” or “I didn’t mean anything by it”. That’s our society these days; be stupid without thought and apologize later without really meaning it.

Something I do a lot is walk. I track my steps via Fitbit, and I’ve lost a nice bit of weight. I’ve lost way more inches, to the effect that my clothes fit much looser and… well… I’ve lost my behind! lol I can now buy clothes off the rack that actually fit me; That hasn’t happened in just over 30 years!

at my lowest weight
since my 2nd year in college!

However, when I look in a mirror, I still see the same guy I’ve always seen. A couple of weeks ago at a Thanksgiving dinner at my friend’s house, someone said I looked like I’d lost a lot of weight and that she saw a big difference. I don’t see it, but I know it’s happened; am I body shaming myself?

Possibly. I never really started looking in a mirror until the selfie revolution came. I shave in the shower and based my clothing choices on what colors I thought matched each other. Once I got a smartphone and learned how to take pictures, I became more open to taking pictures of myself, as there aren’t a lot before that period in time.

I can’t say I think I look great; not by any means. What I am is confident, for the most part, that I am what I am and that my body doesn’t define me. I’m obviously healthy because of the walking, and having clothes loose shows me I’m doing better. But people who meet me for the first time have no idea I’ve lost weight, so to them I’m probably still a big, overweight guy.

Personally, I don’t care because almost no one will ever say anything to me about it, in person or online. Well, it might happen online, but anyone who knows me even a little bit might worry that I could find them; I’ve done it before. lol However, I’d probably just eliminate their comment and block them; I don’t have time to deal with insensitive people.

Not everyone can do this though, which is why I’m imploring people to be kinder and gentler and more encouraging towards others. One of my online friends has lost 187 pounds and is proud of what she’s done; you can easily see the difference. Another of my friends has lost 125 pounds, which is fantastic.Still, for each person I run into, what I think and see doesn’t matter; it’s what they see and what they’ve done and my being proud of them for doing it that counts.

Who’s with me on this topic? What did the video above show you about society’s beliefs in what a proper female body should look like? By the way, I’ve added a video I did to this article after the fact… okay, two years after the fact, but it’s on the same topic: